I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
two words: eviction party
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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