New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
