Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
