i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
