omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
