yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
