My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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