he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm too high and old for this...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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