"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
