Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
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