And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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