i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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