is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
