problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You are a genius and a whore.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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