mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
