Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
