Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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