ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
