So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
