bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
