I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
