oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
