Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize