so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
