Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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