I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
