the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I need to sanitize my soul.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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