my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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