DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
