I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
