Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
