Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
