Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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