I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
