when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
