All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
