How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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