just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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