Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
