Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
