Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
