i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
