Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
