How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
