i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
