you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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