I can tuck mytits in my pants
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i now understand why vodka
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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