so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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