help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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