Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
