Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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