in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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