She said her name was "party"
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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