They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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