Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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