i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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