Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
