Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
