i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You're a waste of cheezeits
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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