YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
